He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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