I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
