whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
