Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
