Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
