I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
