she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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