I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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