ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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