I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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