Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
