It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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