Ambien. No doubt about it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize