definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
