I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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