he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
