you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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