I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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