and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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