i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
