I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
