Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
