i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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