So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
