Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
