Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
