He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
