Where is the hickey?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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