he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
