Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
