return my video game
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
