Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We had to coat check the pizza.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize