My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
