I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
