a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
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Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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