It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i was born a porn star she said
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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