I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
