***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
