All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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