Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
