Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
