every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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