i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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