the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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