Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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