i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Alive.
So much puke
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize