he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
