I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
