Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize