Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
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Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.