Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS