I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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