West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
