but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
