the new term for farting is butt boxing.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
