I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
