At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize