watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize