im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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