I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize