I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
