I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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