dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you never un-have a 4some
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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