I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
