Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
