Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
