please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
