Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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